Okay, it’s January. We’re all back to our familiar routines too soon it seems after the holiday celebrations. This is a time of year when many people try on new, healthier behaviors for size.  Trips to the gym, quitting smoking, cutting down on pizza and ice cream, learning something new, or saying goodbye to something old, it’s never easy, and many resolutions fall by the wayside.  

Old behaviors die hard. But it’s not impossible to change. Framing your resolution as a goal to be reached by degrees, rather than as a pass-fail endeavor is helpful. Expecting setbacks and difficulties, and making accommodations to address them will make a difference. And simply being kind to yourself as you try on a new behavior is perhaps the best advice of all. 

Knowing yourself and how you approach change will increase your chances of sticking to your resolve. James Prochaska, a psychologist from the University of Rhode Island, has developed a model for change which traces the process through six distinct stages. Knowing where you are in this progression will give you insight into where you’ve been and how to get where you’re going.  

Stage one: Pre-contemplation.  This stage is where we all are before we think about incorporating a new behavior. You may be aware that to do so will be beneficial, ie, knowing that smoking cigarettes is hazardous to your health, but stopping smoking doesn’t yet apply to you.

Stage two: Contemplation. Okay, it has finally occurred to you that the new behavior needs to apply to you, but you’re not there yet. Awareness of needing to change defines this stage, as does – sometimes for years -- that annoying, internal nagging and resistance.

Stage three: Preparation.  You’ve decided to give change a try.  At this point, you might look into exercise programs, stop smoking aids, or diet programs.  You might also think about the difficulties that are bound to occur along the way, and make accommodations for them.  A little anticipatory trouble-shooting is warranted here.

Stage four: Action: Yipes, the big day is here.  You are as prepared as you can be. Here you are implementing a plan of incremental change, i.e., committing to exercise twice a week rather than running five miles everyday no matter what even in the nasty New Hampshire weather. Here one also exercises self-kindness and generosity.  It’s okay not to be perfect. Relapses occur in this stage. Acknowledge it, understand why it happened, forgive and move forward.

Stage five: Maintenance. You know what?  Relapses occur here too. But the new behavior is becoming habit. You have experienced the benefits of your new behavior.  Better health, relationships, whatever the payoff is – you’ve felt it. Nothing reinforces new behaviors like success.

Stage six: Termination:  Tad-da!!! You’ve done it. Vigilance may always be the watchword, especially for those quitting smoking or other addictive behavior. It gets easier as time passes.  I know.  I was a dedicated two-pack a day smoker for more than 20 years.  I quit at least ten times, and tried every program, aid, medication and procedure in the book.  I finally did it ten years ago. And now?  I can’t stand the smell of smoke.  I never thought I’d get there.

CPC wishes everyone the best in achieving their New Year’s resolutions.